Since finding out I have FINALLY been accepted for my HSG referral I have found myself in a strange place of anxiousness. Generally I feel fine, I am upbeat and feel relieved that I am finally being listened, or at least I think that is what I am feeling, perhaps I am actively telling myself to think these things to keep myself positive and to stop myself worrying.
In reality my mind is doing somersaults (which may explain the broken sleep I have been having since Saturday, the nightmares, the mind filled with an expanse of “what if’s” as soon as my head hits the pillow.
What if I don’t get the answer I am hoping for?
What if my tubes are blocked?
What if something goes wrong?
What if I have an allergic reaction to the dye?
What if I am left with no answers after the procedure?
What if I have to wait for my answers?
What if all my dreams come true?
What if this is the start of my worst nightmare?
What if? What if? What if?
Thank god I don’t have to wait too long to get the above answered. I phoned the hospital yesterday and they have booked me in for the HSG on Friday afternoon.